Things I didn't know until I became a Stay at Home Mom

1. Stay at Home? HA!
2. You are #1 on every one's volunteer list because you"DON'T WORK".
3. You gotta love when people ask, "What do you do all day?" As if they really have time for that answer!
4. You don't get to shower until midnight (and only then, if you're lucky).
5. New clothes...not since the last new maternity shirt (with your first child!).
6. DooDoo under your fingernails is really minor and will wash right off.
7. Boys do wrestle 24/7. The WWE could learn a thing or two at my house.
8. Good furniture is really overrated. You don't really need a coffee table and the kids will just decorate (markers, ink pen, fingernail polish) your new couch!
9. Going to the mailbox is the highlight of the day. Contact with the outside world...!
10. Your first real complete thought comes only after the kids are asleep for the night (even then, they are subject to interruption from potty runs, bad dreams, water, can't sleep, etc.)
11. Keeping up with the pacifier and sippy cup all day is a major accomplishment.
12. Cutting fingernails and toenails is extremely painful!
13. Birthday parties are a COMPETITION.
14. The class your child is in will take 24 field trips a year. Of course, since you "don't work" you will be glad to chaperone.
15. A shirt/pair of shorts with only 1 stain, constitutes clean, only for the Mom. The kids must have clean, darling outfits.
16. Grocery shopping is a work-out. One buggy for the kids, one for the groceries!
17. A break is getting to grocery shop ALONE.
18. If you are waiting on a package, lay your kids down for a nap. The UPS guy will ring the doorbell as soon as they doze off. Waking them after a 15 minute nap insures an excellent afternoon.
19. Making important plans guarantees a child gets sick!
20. The maker of Happy Meal toys hates all parents!